Gone
by Shellym127
Summary: When an incident causes Edward to loose his memory and leave Forks, everyone treats Edward’s absence as if he had died. Everyone thinks that Bella is okay, when in fact Bella is far from okay. How does she go on when his spirit still haunts her?
1. Preface

_**Preface**_

"Bella, Bella wake up." Alice said as she shook me a little to hard. I opened my eyes to find myself in my room.

"Alice? Why are you here?" I questioned. "Bella something bad has happened" She said in horror.

"Alice, define bad." I told her.

"Bella. There is no easy way to say this. So I guess I better just say it. Bella, Edward's gone." She struggled to say.

"Alice, what happened?" I said in horror.

"I guess I better start at the beginning." She said sadly. "Edward went on a hunting trip by himself and was attacked by Victoria and Laurent. I had a vision of it and we all ran as fast as we could, but Edward was too far away. When we got there we found Edward ripped to pieces. We destroyed Laurent and Victoria before they burned Edward but…" She stopped mid sentence and the suspense was killing me.

"But what Alice?" I asked.

"But he can't remember a thing." She said. "He doesn't even know Carlisle. He doesn't know that Carlisle created him so he feels no bond to us. He left Forks." Alice said.

My head then went into complete shut down. How could this happen? Why?

"Bella I know this hard for you." She said. "It's hard for all of us. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Okay?" She walked over to the window but then turned to face me.

"Oh and Bella he some how managed to write you this before he died." She tossed me a package wrapped in white tissue paper. She left and I tore open the package. Inside it held a lard piece of bark with a message carved into it.

Dear Bella, The end is near for me and I want you to know that I loved you. After I'm gone I want you to promise me that you will put on a happy face. Live your life. Don't let me stop you from being you. And most importantly protect your life, for it was important to me. And remember I will always be with you in your heart.

Love,

Edward


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

It had been a full year since the incident. I was a senior at Forks High School now. To everyone I looked liked I had recovered. But they were wrong. I was anything but okay.

As I walked through the doors of my school to my locker I held a solemn look on my face. Alex was waiting for me by my locker. She had moved here from Nevada a month after the incident. She was my best friend and one of the only people that truly understood me. She new what today was. For my sake she mirrored my solemn look.

"Hi" I said.

"Hi" She replied, "You going to be okay?" She asked.

"Yeah." I lied.

"You sure?" She asked again.

"I'm positive." I lied again.

"Okay." She sounded like she didn't buy it. "So do you want to do something after school? Or is your visit going to be longer today?"

"It's going to be longer." I stated.

"Okay, Bella. Well then how about tomorrow we catch a movie? Okay?" She asked.

"Sure. Sounds good." I told her with a fake smile. I closed my locker and we began walking to class.

The rest of the day flew by with nothing out of the ordinary happening. I said goodbye to everyone as I walked to my truck. I drove up to the Newton's store, parked, and went it side. I walked up to the front counter where Mrs. Newton was waiting.

"My usual please." I told Mrs. Newton while handing her a twenty-dollar bill. She handed me the bouquet of roses and my change. I got in my rusted old truck and drove the familiar route. I parked in the empty lot and got out. I walked on the path to the left corner where he lay. I knelt down in front of him and placed the flowers over his grave, Edward's grave.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I looked at the grave before me. Edward's body wasn't buried below it. But Edward Cullen (it hurt to think his name) was dead, or I guess the better word would be gone. Sure there was someone out there that looked like him, but it wasn't him. It only seemed right that he had a grave. It was Alice's idea. She knew I'd like it. It was funny that this was a sign saying he was gone, but I felt his presence most right here. He was gone, but somehow I could feel that he was still here, still with me. It was the only reason why I hadn't died on the inside. It still felt like he was here.

"Hi" I said. There wouldn't be an answer. There usually wasn't an answer. But I needed him to know I still cared and I still needed him.

"Today was hard." I said. I had conversations like this all the time. I know he can here me. I know he listens.

"I'm almost as good at lying as you are. I mean were." I gulped out.

"I've fooled everyone, everyone except myself. Don't think I haven't tried though. Well, It doesn't work." I told him.

"You can't lie to yourself." I told him. I was getting mad. I almost always got mad. I had sudden mood swings all the time now. It was all because of what I promised him. I loved him, but it hurt to do what he asked.

"Everyone thinks that I'm okay. But they're wrong. I'm anything, but okay." I was almost shouting. I could feel the enclosed feelings bubbling to the surface, the feelings I had to shut out to make it look like I was fine. I could feel them now. I was mad and what I was about to say wouldn't be pretty.

"You know what Edward." I forced out his name. "Do you know what I want? I really just want to die. I want to crawl in a hole and die. Without you what is life worth? Please just answer this one question. Please." I was sobbing now. The feeling of rage was gone. I was now just sad, completely sad. I couldn't say anything more. I was overwhelmed with tears. But I had to say one more thing.

"I love you." I forced out between sobs. No one would answer me anymore. As for my question there wasn't answer and there never would be.

"I'm sorry." I said.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I sat there crying for what seemed like half an hour. The pain kept flowing. Every time I thought of him it was like a blow to the heart. I would cringe at the pain. This was the only place I could break down. No one else could see me like this. I had a promise to keep. If I thought of him with people around I just sucked it up and put a mask on. I couldn't let them see how not over him I am. They have to think I'm healed. They have to believe that I've healed. I had to keep that promise, for him.

A strong wind blew through the cemetery. My hair flew back behind me and I looked up. There was no one but me. There was never anyone, but me. The sun was moving closer to the horizon. I stood up and walked back to my truck. I got in and sat in the driver's seat. Tears were still running down my cheeks. I looked at the clock on my dashboard. It was 4:30. I still had time before I needed to go home, so I decided I was going to find him. I needed to feel his presence stronger. Even if it was only a little stronger, I needed it.

I took the long drive out of the city and up the long driveway. I parked in the empty garage and walked to the front door. I took out the key Alice had given me for times like this. I slid the key in and turned it with ease. I pushed the door open to the empty deserted house. The Cullens had taken all their furniture with them, but they left one room untouched. The house looked like it could be in a horror movie but it was oddly inviting. I ran inside and up the stairs as fast as I could without falling. As I got closer to the room I could feel a pull towards it. With every step I took the pull became stronger. I got to the door and turned the knob.

I opened the door and his smell hit me. I looked around. The room was exactly as I remembered it. This was what I was looking for. This was what I needed. It was his room; this was proof that he had existed. I felt so wonderful, but I still couldn't ignore the blows at my heart. I started to cry, both cries of happiness and sorrow. My cries must have carried me to sleep, because everything went black.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Bella" The wind seemed to be whispering my name.

"Bella" I woke abruptly. I looked around. No one was there. I couldn't have imagined that could I? I was still where I had fallen asleep, his room. My eyes flickered to the window. It was dark outside. How long had I been asleep? I looked around his room for a clock. There didn't seem to be one. I took one last breath of his sent and walked out the door.

I slowly walked down the stairs. I took my steps carefully and slow. It seemed that with each step I took there was a pull that got stronger. The pull was very different from the pull I felt towards his room. This pull was almost 10 times stronger, but with every step I took it became more painful to keep going. I so badly wanted to be near the source of the pull, but every time I got closer there would be another blow to the heart, each blow was more intense than the previous.

I looked ahead of me. It was dark but I could still make out some of the shapes. At the end of the stairs there was the door. Was that what the pull was towards? Was it really going to be this painful to leave?

I got to the end of the staircase. The forces never lessened, they only became more intense. I reached for the doorknob, and I realized the door wasn't where I was being pulled. I turned around towards the real source of the pull. It was him. It was… Edward.

He looked translucent. He was floating and it almost looked like he was made of cloud. He was a ghost. He was staring at me. His eyes didn't have color anymore. He didn't have color anymore. He was not in color anymore; he was only in black and white.

"So this is what happens to vampire's souls." I mumbled to myself. He didn't take his eyes off me.

"Yes" He chuckled and I blushed.

"I'm going to miss that." He said, still looking at me with adoring eyes. It was really him. I couldn't tell how I felt. There was sharp pain in my heart that was more intense than it had ever been, but I was here with him, which numbed the pain.

"How are you here?" I asked. I was curious.

"You've brought me here. You needed me. I'm always with you and always will be." He said. "So why have you called me here?" He was smiling. I didn't understand this. He was gone, but he was smiling.

"You never answered my question." I stated.

"Which question would that be Bella?" I smiled when he said my name.

"What is life worth without you?" I asked. He thought for a moment.

"Bella you'll have to answer that question for yourself." He said. I knew there wasn't an answer.

"Be happy Bella," He said. I smiled back at him.

"Bella!" As soon as my name was said he was gone. Enraged at who ever had said my name I turned around. It was Alex. Tears were running down her face and her mouth was hanging open.

Thank you for reading!!!!! Please leave me a review and tell me if you liked it or not!


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